He let an awful silence drag through the air like a razor’s edge, let it cut him to his soul. He longed to say yes and see her smile for real and truly, but he would not lie over something so trivial.
She hesitated at his uncertain words and searched his features again, desperately searching for a tell-tale that could give her more insight into his thoughts. The silence was suffocating and the awkwardness tense, but Rosa was determined to ignore it and stand her ground. She appreciated his honesty, regardless of the outcome, but she was still waiting for the day when he would fill that smothering silence with true laughter, with true merriment. How can I help make that happen?
When his gaze returned to her eyes and bored into their green depths, probing, she took a sharp breath and dared not turn away. She maintained her composure and stared back, unwaveringly, but she did not reply – not yet.
As she stood there, locked in his gaze and locked in silence, she could not help but reflect at how the three of them had grown – how they all had changed – and yet, that was to be expected, surely? One of the scholars had always told her, whispering amongst books and scrolls – war shapes people anew, just like landscapes, and a soldier would often return to his family changed and altered. Perhaps they had grown more mature and more changed beyond the number of their years, and as Rosa and Cecil grew more distant, it was not unexpected that their love would change into a more platonic feeling – right? It was just as strong… but different.
She had months to ponder over the incessant questions which gnawed into her mind daybreak and sundown, in the loneliness of her room where the walls were her only company and confidants. She had not wanted to unleash her thoughts or her feelings on anyone in the Castle, she did not want to burden them – especially Cecil, and so she battled her ponderings herself, alone.
Biting her lip, she realised that perhaps she had been lonely – maybe she still was.
At the corner of her gaze, she noticed Kain’s backward step and panic flared through her. Somehow, in that instant, she knew what she needed. All of these feelings had been ignored and allowed to rise up, seething and raging, but still she ignored them. However, Kain, somehow, had helped her come to terms with the truth and what she needed. How selfish of her, it made her mouth feel sour and bitter, but it was still the truth.
Responding to his retreat, she took a step forward and bored her eyes into his gaze with a fiery strength that was both pleading and powerful. Kain’s presence had soothed her – despite the awkward atmosphere – and had allowed her to come to terms with her feelings, and be honest with herself for once. She couldn’t lose that or him again. Family stood together.
“… I cannot say.” She finally responded to his question and her lips turned upwards into a smile, amused by her mimicked answer but it was an honest reply. With a long, deep sigh, she shook her head – her long, golden hair following the movement – and smiled, almost sadly. “I’ve forgotten how to look after myself it seems. I heal the wounded and tend to the sick but I’ve worked myself into the night, refusing to listen to my heart or pay any heed to my thoughts, and I fear that I’ve become oblivious in my blindness.”
Now she paused and gulped, nervously, but she still held her gaze and stood her ground. “Return, Kain. To Baron, to everyone.” Frantically, she continued. “I do not wish to force this on you or say how long you should stay but – it would be right.”
(Source: whitemagicrosa)
